Call Me Snake

© 1981 MGM

We’re only a few minutes in when we see the exterior of Airforce One. The computer simulation used as the plane crashes is of a different configuration. Notice the engines have moved from the tail to under the wings.

© 1981 MGM

Not only can this amazing plane move its engines, but it’s a Tardis. It’s a widebody on the inside, but not on the outside. You can really tell the difference when they show the wreckage.

© 1981 MGM

Not to be outdone by a mere aeroplane, this man in the main control room demonstrates he has similar control over time and space. At least where it relates to his jacket. He takes it off several times over the course of a minute or two.

© 1981 MGM

Perhaps Snake caught that episode of MythBusters showing that pirates may have used patches to preserve night vision in one eye. Either way, Snake, you’re busted. That eyeball looks fine from here. If a name like Snake and a tattoo of a cobra slinking out of your shorts doesn’t get you the girls, a phoney eye-patch doesn’t have a chance.

© 1981 MGM

IMDB calls this scene out. Adrien Barboobs (I mean “Maggie”), Snake and Cabby (Earnest Borg-9) enter the house. The camera switches to an interior shot and they’ve really changed locations. I’m letting this one slide. Maggie didn’t have a torch in her hand when she answered the door. It just looks to me like she took a moment to get one.

© 1981 MGM

This one is pretty obvious once you’re told. It’s an audio goof, so the picture is just to set the scene. Duke is taking pot-shots at Mr. Pres. The loud blasts are echoing through the building, but that’s Snakes snazzy silenced Uzi. They’ve got completely the wrong sound effect. It does add drama, though.

© 1981 MGM

I’m not sure exactly what’s going on here. There is a mysterious hand poking out from behind a post giving “get up” stage direction to some unseen entity. Look just above the head of the guy sitting on the left. This scene is just prior to the fight-to-the-death.

© 1981 MGM

Alright, this fight scene has the goofs flying more furiously than the bats. Once they switch to spiked bats, it’s quickly clear just how rubbery the “nails” are. That’s nothing compared to the bat that lands the killing blow. It starts stuck to the giant guys head, but is gone when he slumps over the ropes. The camera angle changes, and Snake accidentally knocks the club off the guys head (wait, how did that get back on there?) and it clearly drops to the floor. Another change in camera angle, and there’s that damn bat stuck in his head again.

© 1981 MGM

This last one is on IMDB as well. How do I know? I put it on there myself years ago. The team revisits the roof only to discover the glider has just been trashed. Oh, well. They return to the elevator. When the doors close, look to the right. The hand of the person pushing the doors closed has let their fingers show. Never mind. They’re still using that particular technology on the Enterprise.

And that, as they say, is that. They beat Logan’s Run if you’re scoring by the numbers, but some of these were real doozies. No harm done, though. Nobody went to this movie expecting “Waiting for Godot”. It’s a blast. Particularly if you’ve got a few beers in you. It’s definitely earned its status as a minor cult classic.